Present

Written: 2015
Revised: 2017

Up until recently I was not OK with the thought of deleting the past.
Whether it came to letting go of horrible memories or just deleting old photo's off of Facebook.
I haven't ever been really comfortable with the idea that letting go is OK, but I had to learn.
I had to let God work on me and tell me that it IS OK to let things go and to move forward.

Time is passing and things are changing once again on this roller coaster called life and I must say I am excited, but naturally so I am also nervous.
Letting go, had never been a specialty of mine. This time God is around and determined to make it happen. I am doing my best to let him work.
No matter how crazy life seems he is always there to pick me up and has never once failed me.
It is and has always been a matter of my trusting him.

As I move on to a new school and away from the comforts that make my community college for the past 3 years home. I realize that though I am nervous. I am ready. I am excited.
Moving on is apart of life.
As is change.
Both are beautiful and needed in the process of becoming better and more real.

I honestly think that if I stayed in one place forever I might go crazy. Needless to say I am welcoming the change. I am WELCOMING the present. The moment and everything that goes with it and more than anything I am SO EXCITED to see what God has prepared for me in my life.

I look at my past and I see all my mistakes every detail of what I did wrong and I know God is ready for me to let go. To learn from and move on with God is one of the greatest things I do think we as people can ever do to achieve anything. Being "mold-able" is the best way to move forward. Allowing God to mold us into who he wants us to be rather than what we think is best for ourselves.

God loves you. He REALLY does, but you can't expect him to just fix all your problems. He will sometimes if you ask him (so ALWAYS ask), but a lot of the time he wants you to work with him and learn something so that YOU can LEARN who you need to be and where you need to be at.

Long story short: God loves you and wants to hang with you, but he doesn't want you hung up on everything and anything other than him. He wants you to have your eyes on him so you can focus and hone in on the world around you.
We were given a ONE-TRACK mind for a reason.
He WANTS to work on you... so let him.

Philippians 2:12-13
"So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."

Way Back

I think every kid is used to being told something along the lines of, "I know you don't understand."

One gets tired of hearing it.

Which is why I assume most kids are in a hurry to grow up.

Most kids get how you mean it, but it still hurts a little because it means we can't help or understand.

Helpless.

That is how it feels.

Work all day.

When all we can do to help is what we are doing.

While continuing to feel helpless.

Many teens will go on the search for friends who FEEL the same way and they party.

They do it to get there mind off the adult world that SEEMS to want them very little or too much.

(When in all reality most parents do love and want their children the right amount.)

They party and do "adult stuff" to FEEL wanted.

It makes sense. Yes?

Feelings. We all want to feel good. 

The devil can easily manipulate your feelings... when allowed.

The point isn't that I agree.

It is that I get it.

I get the temptation.

That LACK of self-confidence, motive, and will to do better.

You don't have anything else to wake up to, but wanting something that will make you FEEL good.

That is what SIN supplies the EMPTY feel good feeling.

Admit it... we all want it.

If you have God you learn not to want it.

To earn every good moment.

Not even earn.

God gives it to you, but it comes with hardship.

There is no perfect life. 

Don't go mess with yours in the wrong way.

Don't get yourself to the point of needing forgiveness.

Ask if you need it, but avoid getting there.

Avoid getting there again.

~K